PenutHead
by kelso123
Summary: About a guy almost like forest gump in vietnam. Hope you like it.


PeanutHead

In the setting of Vietnam *gun fire*

Military man: ouch I think that I have been hit

Peanut: are you alright

Military man: No peanut for brains. Ow ow. Ok listen send this letter to base very quickly. It's the best record of all men who are missing in action

Peanut: Yes sir I wont disappoint you I have advance training in military combat so I will kill anyone in my way. And now I will recite the soldiers creed which will further show my pride.

The Soldier's Creed *ahem*  
I am an American Soldier.  
I am a Warrior and a member of a team.  
I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.  
I will-

Military man: peanut shut up and make the trip quick!

Peanut: Where? The restroom

Military man: no peanut to the base

Peanut: where is the base

Military man: where you started this mission

Peanut: ok… explain this to me like im a 5 year old

Military Man: Ok you have your coloring book so I can draw it out for you

Peanut: Yes in fact I do

Military: Peanut you are the most immature, stupid-*Military man dies*

Peanut: military man! Military man! I forgot what to do. What's the mission. Dammit so many unanswered mysteries. *helicopter arrives*

Black soldier: Where have you been? We have been looking all over for you guys

Peanut: nothing man. we been chillin up in the hood away for our gees and they sent us on this mission doug and Im like that aint right shawty

Black soldier: peanut I was born in London, England and I have a dark English accent

Peanut: its cool. Its cool but you know we brothers and brothers-

Black soldier: just get in you bloak

*peanut gets in*

AT THE BASE

General: do you have it

Peanut what?

General: the soldiers missing in action along with maps of there possible whereabouts

Peanut: I forgot it but in this situation the best thing to do is joke about it. If we do then . we will probably forget and enjoy the rest of the day. He he *armpit noise* ha ha missing soldiers

General: do you realize we cant give families information of their relatives, that soldiers could be starving or dying, and you will be hated by many people because the things you did because this does not stand for the common creed of a soldier so you are no warrior at sight

Peanut: damn! That's a good speech general

General: Really! You like it. Well *tiny grin* I did take a few debate classes

Peanut: Hell!you should take it to a commentator job or news

General: really! Alright I will think about it. But my wife limits me and my potential with the kids and bills-

Peanut: oh women *grossed out voice* dude you are totally a genius at it so forget her and the kids and all the doo dah and go for something bigger. Something-

General: wait were we talking about something before

Peanut: yeah! Women and kids

General: no before that

Peanut: job on news or commentating

General: yeah um…. Yeah that was it. Anyway thanks for the inspiration. You're a great man

Peanut: no problem

*peanut leaves in a helicopter*

Sectary: so what was his response to the missing men. What was his punishment

General: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! GET THE FUCKING HELICOPTER DOWN HERE!

Sectary: Sir the helicopter has no communication system

General: NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!

Chapter 3

*Peanut is riding helicopter*

Peanut: *singing* where to go. Where to go. I don't know I don't know. Probably outer space and fro. I don't know I don't know. He he ha ha go go gah gah!

*peanut spots Asian enemy soldiers*

Peanut: look at all those friendly long-eyed people. Hmm maybe they can give me their supernatural ability to see in a wide prospective.

*peanut lands helicopter*

Asian enemy: *very frantic Asians points gun*

Peanut:Greetings. I come in peace. Im from the planet earth. Maybe you can teach me your tribal ways and give me your amazing ability and I will show you some of my ways

*peanut gets shot in the butt crack*

Chapter 4

*Peanut then got thrown into a river and then peanut drifts down to village. Then

Later on land…peanut wakes up*

Asian Girl: American! you awake? We have put small dabs paper towels soaked in alcohol down your ass crack

Peanut: ow! *in a hallucinating mood starts to touch two pair objects*

Asian Girl: what the HELL are you doing

Peanut: me like boobies

*asian girl pours bottle of alcohol down butt*

Peanut: *wakes up* ouch! what just happened?

Asian Girl: You violated me American bitch

Peanut: oh. So it's not a dream! Come here baby!

Asian Girl: I can report you to Vietnamese headquarters

Peanut: ok. ok. we will take it slow for now then maybe faster later

Asian girl: First of all I have a line of suitors that can go down many blocks so Im not interested in you. Second of all Where are you from, what are you doing here, what are your duties

Peanut : my name is peanut I-

Asian Girl: wait. Peanuts your name. that's food and you were named after it *laughs*

Peanut: anyway my name is peanut and-

Asian Girl: so whats your mom and dads name

Peanut: well my mom is named orange and dad is named apple and im from the pyramid family

Asian Girl: *laughs out loud* yeah right. Anyway I don't have time for nonsense. Lets go back so you can meet my family.

Peanut: alright but whats your name

Asian girl: Its Asian and I come from the girl family

Chapter 5


End file.
